Introducing the Business Jank Suite
Eighteen Salesforce-native enterprise surfaces for alignment velocity, calendar entropy, and other metrics your board already believes are real.
Today we are shipping the Business Jank Suite: eighteen Lightning Web Components that finally put corporate theater where it belongs — on a Salesforce App Page, with real lightning-* base components and SLDS chrome. This is not a prototype. This is a platform.
Open App Launcher. Find LWC Playground. Assign the permission set. Feel your operating cadence accelerate.
The host is a Lightning card with vertical navigation, a record-home page header, and the quiet confidence of software that knows you will demo it in a standup. Pick a mockup. Hash-route if you must — the suite remembers which wound you wanted to reopen.
01 · Synergy Synchrotron
Fling alignment into the particle beam and watch velocity climb while the buzzword counter refuses to plateau. Circle-backs complete themselves. Toast notifications confirm what the room already knew: you took it offline.
02 · OKR Obliterator
Progress bars narrate the fiction of being on track while stretch goals remain edible. One click snaps a key result and schedules the memorial service for Thursday. Delight is defined as “opened the email.”
03 · Meeting Entropy Index
A datatable ranks your week by entropy and offers a row action to certify the waste. Tuesday at 11:00 is Critical and could have been an email. Thursday is Low, which is how you know the system is calibrated.
04 · Stakeholder Pinball
Flip left or right and ownership ricochets across Legal, Sales Ops, and a spreadsheet named FINAL_v7. Informed stays Never. Accountable lands on VP of Vibes until the next tilt warning.
05 · Pipeline Vibes
Prospecting is hopeful. Qualification is anxious. Proposal is dramatic. Closed Won is smug, and underfunded — select a stage and the funnel whispers mood plus deal energy in dollars you will defend on the forecast call.
06 · Compliance Cosplay Closet
Try on the Evidence Cape, the Right-to-be-Forgotten Veil, or Minimum Necessary Pauldrons before the walkthrough. Continuous Improvement Hoodies get more compliant the more you wash them. Auditor applause meters move accordingly.
07 · QBR Karaoke Queue
Advance through the deck while lyrics insist you beat the number (kind of). Pipeline vibes stay in the key of hope. The encore is always risks and mitigations, remixed for stakeholders who clap on the wrong beat.
08 · Budget Ouija
Ask the market with fingers lightly on the planchette and watch the quarter reassign itself. Soft demand arrives with soft excuses. When the board spells G-R-O-W-T-H it immediately follows with GOODBYE.
09 · Churn Clairvoyant
Consult the orb for retention percentage, confidence interval, and visions of champions who leave their calendar invites behind. NPS can be fine while the vibes are not. Pricing opened twice at 2am is a leading indicator.
10 · Unread Doom Gauge
#random holds four digits of unread. Vent a channel, ease the PSI, pretend #exec-whispers was never the problem. Pressure critical is the product’s happy path.
11 · Vendor Vortex
Ingest a SOW and watch days-in-vortex compound while security questionnaire #4 waits in line. Procurement smiles. Finance does not. The PO counter only goes up.
12 · Headcount Horoscope
Expand the zodiac edition of the org chart and learn why the req is cursed. Mercury in offer-letter means candidates ghost, then unghost. Finance remains Leo with zero seats, which the stars and the budget both endorse.
13 · Roadmap Roulette
Place bets on the feature, spin, and land on Q3 promise or Next FY with equal solemnity. Engineering nods. Never remains a first-class roadmap state, as it should.
14 · NPS Mood Field
Spike the mood field and watch detractors teach support tickets to scream in hex. The score is promoters minus detractors, which is also how leadership summarizes the quarter.
15 · Invoice Inferno
Aging buckets progress from warm to dragon. Escalate the 90+ bucket to apocalypse and deploy collections dragons. AP clerks report mild singeing.
16 · KPI Karaoke Board
Hit a combo on win rate and watch the leaderboard re-sort under x16 BOARD DECK. Logo retention can be merely OK. The crowd goes mild, which is the enterprise equivalent of a standing ovation.
17 · Elevator Pitch Panic
Start the ride, climb from lobby optimism through executive silence, and watch the tagline degrade on demand. Doors open. Nobody clapped. Ship it anyway.
18 · Paradigm Seismograph
Tap a buzzword and log the magnitude. Seismologists recommend a glossary ban. The needle was calm before the meeting started.
Built as an R&D playground on Salesforce Lightning: native base components, SLDS utilities, one App Page, one permission set. Not for production. Extremely for demos.